IF ONLY

“Love is pain.” Her mother once said.

They had fought, they had been fighting for years but, that didn’t mean she loved him any less. Now, her she lay listening to the wind blow the spring blossoms into dance wishing he would return. The hours past by so slowly as she thought of him out there. For years, she had been holding onto a memory of the past. The days he use to love her. Rolling over into the empty space she let the tear fall and prayed for happiness.

Once, she had laughed like the sound of music, danced as if she was never bound by gravity and now a former shell of herself. It was as if the rug had been pulled from beneath her feet and all she could do was float. The more she wanted answers, the less they talked. The death of silence filled with emonital torrents spilling out on earth. The ulitmate question lingering upon her lips, “Does he love me?”

The pain in her stomach tore through her chest as her sobs deepened and her scars engraved themselves in her heart. Closing her eyes she tried to convince herself she was wrong but, the longer the time ticked on she knew it was truly over. The darkness would should fade and light will bring the day. Squeezing her eyes tight she said another pray for sleep in the dead of the night.

A engine purred outside an her heart fluttered, maybe he had come to fight for her after all. Slipping out of her bed she tiptoe to the window afraid to be disappointed and held her breath. Teasing open the slates she peered into the darkness, hoping. Looking out onto the empty street she sighed heavily and returned defeated to her bed.

Laying in her vacated warmth she pulled the duvet up to her chin and closed her eyes. Although her eyes were closed the tears continued to roll soaking the pillow beneath her.

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