11th .07. 2018


I have long since come to terms that the colour of my skin cannot change like items of clothes!

This does not concern me in the slightest. I actually adore the medium tone of brown with the hint of cocoa coloured scars from childhood fumbles. I tenderly nourished the dry skin with oils and my eyes sparkle when it shines like a well greased machine ready for another daily conquest.8

However, I woke up one morning after living in this beautiful place for almost five months in total isolation and the question that cross my mind was:

What is it that offends you?

Bearing in mind I’m alone with no one to answer the rhetorical question as sits in the air, unanswered.

I knew moving to a whole new area out of London would be daunting and exciting at the same time. Although, just as a honetmoon period ends the reality set in and the excitement flatlines. There was no way to describe the feeling other than being slapped in the face. London has become a home of cultural diversity and a hive of little communities that co-exsist and maintain some sort of unification in a crisis. The country hills and vast fields are a beautiful sight but with the fact that racism is the elephant in the street unnerved me.

I observe the stares that follow you or the shift as you step onto the bus. Even the hushed whispers as your draw near become a constant dagger poking at the paranoia living in my right ear. At first I thought I was losing my mind but I have confirmed my suspicions with a sociology experiment. I mean, have you ever been to a job and handed in the application and before you leave the premise you get a response;

Unfortunately you have not be successful!!

Then I question what’s wrong with me, my antenna up and negativity radar activated as I scan my clothes, my arms and my breath. All a okay.

So what is it?

Looking further into this establishment the lack of diversity within the staff is shocking. The racist, bigoted remarks from others are shocking although others smile and say. ‘We’re not like that, I don’t understand.’ While the demon spawns grin from ear to ear. Its just not good enough.

So I applyed once more. I handed in the pre edited and re-drafted application only to receive the same email a day later in green ink.

Professional much!

And Yes you guessed it. I had still have be unsuccessful. I then decided to actually post the application the third time rather than hand it it. But there was a twist. I applied in a new name, with new email, same qualifications and you guess it.

“We are pleased to offer you an interview.”


The vision of me was enough to refuse my application.

Big, Black and Beautiful….All the B’s.

Back to topic.

Moving out of London had been a total culture shock and a slap in the face to positive human relations as people are isolated due to race. Unemployment is at an all time high. Homelessness is rife but still people are concerned with the wrong thing. Then it comes back to isolation. You see, meeting new people is extremely hard when you have anxiety and it doesn’t help when half the kids in the street follow your car out of the area as if you were an unwanted visitor.

But what really gets up my …… is the judgemental and critical observations of people within the black race who endear a superiority complex. In this day and age unity is the only way forward it is sickening. As I watch the beautiful African women heading to church draped in colours of the rainbow I am aware that I am a stranger. It’s funny because it has always been a difficult decision placing my heritage into a catogery as when I say I’m British the weird faces are comical.

“Nah I mean where is your family from?”


That’s a whole new blog topic……

I just think that the lack of recognition or unity, it is clear to me that examining relationships within the black race needs to be tackled before we can address outside influences.Colourism, Segregated fractions and negativity should be actively challenge and addressed.


Together we are stronger.


Visit the church
• Greet three strangers..

Wish me luck Berries I’m on a journey to unite us all.!!!!


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They tried to kill my vibe; I died, but I survived....

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